Observation on the USA after 15 months in Bulgaria
After spending 15 months in Bulgaria I am able to make some interesting observations about the US to contrast with my time in Bulgaria.
1. The roads in Boston really aren’t that much better than Bulgaria. For all the moaning I would do over the crappy roads in Bulgaria – driving around Boston this past weekend made me realize that Boston has a ways to go as well. Bulgaria may have the advantage here since at least they don’t have ceiling tiles that fall down and kill people in their tunnels. Advantage: Bulgaria
2. Trucks. Bulgaria – not so many. USA – everywhere. Despite Massachusetts probably having one of the smaller per capita truck ownership rates in the country, there sure are a lot of F-150’s driving around. Just in terms of burning less gas I’m going to have to say – Advantage: Bulgaria.
3. Expensive booze. At the bar Friday night people were ordering simple mixed drinks that cast $8 a glass. And I thought my $4 beer was outrageous. Compare that to a $3 mixed drink in Bulgaria. Advantage: Bulgaria.
4. Ethnic minorities. Bulgaria – not so many. USA – everywhere, even in Massachusetts – AKA whitey-land. The bar I went to must have been at least 30% Asian – then again we were 3 blocks from MIT so I guess that kind of makes sense. The corollary to this is that there are plenty of ethnic (i.e. Mexican) restaurants. Mmm, mmm good. Advantage: USA
5. Runners. Bulgaria – no runners. USA – runners everywhere. I look out my window and everyday there are people running by the house. Even at 9pm Friday night in Boston there were lots of people running along the Charles. Yea for physical fitness. Advantage: USA
6. A city skyline you would want to take a picture of. Boston – beautiful city skyline. Sofia – not so pretty (if you can even see it through the pollution). Advantage: USA
7. College football. What I watched all day Saturday. Advantage: USA
8. The biggest plasma screen HDTV I have ever seen. My friend Bill has a magnormous TV at his place. No one in Bulgaria had one even close to its size. No one in Bulgaria has $4K to spend on a TV. Of course I had to test drive it by watching Top Gun. I give it excellent marks. Advantage: USA.
9. Cheese. Bulgaria – 2 types of cheese. USA – many types of cheese. I like cheese. The corollary to this is nachos. Nachos go well with college football. Advantage: USA
10. Smokeless bars and restaurants. Boston/Cambridge – smoke free. Eastern Europe – hidden under a cloud of cigarette smoke. This was the first time in many months I was able to breathe properly while sipping my beer. Oh how I like smoke free laws. Advantage: USA
11. Old Navy commercials. I almost forgot how stupid these commercials are … almost. Advantage: Bulgaria.
12. Water in the toilets. Bulgaria – not so much water. USA – swimming pools. I never really noticed how much water is in most US toilets until I came back. I’m not convinced I like all that water in my toilet. Advantage: Bulgaria.
It looks like the USA wins this one, 7-5.
I can’t believe how nostalgic you’ve become in just a week! I have to take issue with you on the following:
Road conditions: I just drove the “highway” between Sofia and Bansko at night (both ways), and it’s a death trap! Lanes end and shift with no warning, and many times there are no lane markings at all.
Sidewalk conditions: You didn’t mention it here, but you’ve got to be loving the fact you can stroll down unobstructed sidewalks in Beantown.
Plasma screen TVs: Actually, I’ve seen some hugenormous models at Technomark. However, there certainly is a lack of HDTV sources here. I am tired of seeing standard definition 4:3 signals stretch out over an expensive plasma TV.
Toilets: How can you possibly say that European toilets are better!? You don’t have to clean the bowl every time after you “drop the kids off at the pool” in the US.
Toilets: In many Muslim countries just using dry toilet paper is considered unclean; therefore, toilets have a plumbling fixture to help you clean yourself after “dropping the kids off at the pool”. Advantage: Azerbaijan & Turkey and lots of other countries besides the USA & Bulgaria
Norm, yeah but how many times has that little plumbing fixture thingy probably rubbed up against the previous guys poo covered bunghole? Joel, glad to hear you’re doing the after poo scrub down too. You’d think if putting more water in the bowl wasn’t possible, there would have been a redesign in toilet contours by now.
Haha….you found a good topic, guys. Anyway I like the expression “drop the kids off at the pool”
Ah yes, and can I add to Road Conditions:No raised Escalades with oversized tires and spinning rims blocking my view of traffic in front of me in Bulgaria. I absolutely hate those things, and I haven’t seen on for a year
What about the splash? If the bowl is full of water you risk the backsplash of contaminated water.
Also Norm – I tried one of those ass-squirty things and they don’t work. I hit my bottom for a good 60 seconds with that thing and all I got was a messy bottom that I still had to wipe with toilet paper.
Jeez, why the heck is it so hard for a bunch of MBAs to clean their arses properly? All you need to do is just follow the 17 simple Muslim rules for taking a dump.