Breaking News: Fire in Sofia!!!!!
Fire Rages Downtown Sofia, Firemen Run Out of Water
From Sofia News Agency –
Politics: 14 February 2006, Tuesday.
An old residential block located in central Sofia neighbourhood Lozenets burst into flames Monday night.
The fire raged for nearly two hours and totally devastated the roof of the building. The fire erupted in an attic room and quickly spread through the entire roof and the last story of the building.
The firemen weren’t able to quickly tame the flames, as there was no water in the street cranes. Five cars of the brigade fought the fire for nearly two hours.
All families from the residential block were evacuated and luckily there are no casualties.
Let us analyze this article. First of all, what the hell is a street crane? I don’t know. None of my Bulgarian coworkers know. I think it would be safe to say even the firemen have no idea what one is – which is probably why they forgot to put water in it.
Also, the article states, “five cars of the brigade fought the fire….” This means that Sofia’s two fire engines were probably supplemented with two of the firemen’s personal Lada’s and the emergency telephone truck I wrote about a couple months ago.
To continue, the article writes, “the brigade fought the fire for nearly two hours.” Fought the fire with what? Piss? They already stated there wasn’t any water. Did they try to blow it out? My guess is that the fire burnt itself out because, once all the 1970’s vintage furniture was consumed, there was nothing left but concrete – and concrete just isn’t that flammable.
So what did we learn today? We learned that there are indeed fires in Sofia and, when there are, the firemen have no idea what to do. Super.
My name Dragos and I Bulgarian fireperson. You make fun of Bulgaria but we have good buildings. Concrete strong and furniture is from 1980s stupid not 1970s. I can piss on fire all night.