Tram drivers are in a hurry too!

Tonight coming home from work I had a tram driver who must have just finished watching “Top Gun”, “Days of Thunder”, “The Fast and the Furious” and about 15 episodes of “The Dukes of Hazzard” – all in a row. This guy was ready to put the pedal to the metal! There is a relatively sharp turn right after the stop where I get on and I’m quite sure the driver was able to lift the tram off the left rail and careen around the corner on only the right wheels. I was impressed. I also had my face planted against the window in a little physics lesson on centrifugal force. I thought ahead and was quite relieved to come to the conclusion that this was the only sharp turn on my journey home. Of course, that didn’t mean the end of the fun.

Most drivers wait until everyone has gotten on the tram at each stop before continuing. Well, not Iceman and his F-14 tram. He’s got shit to do, and that shit isn’t sitting around waiting for passengers to get on the tram. After a few seconds of people shuffling on the tram, it’s time to go. He does, however, thoughtfully give the would-be passengers a fighting chance. By fighting chance, I mean he leaves the doors open as the tram pulls away. The expression of the people just getting on is one of those images that should be immortalized in a photography exhibit because it’s not a photo you’re going to see very often. Their expressions seem to say, “just a second ago I was getting on a motionless train but now the side of the doorway is slamming into my face – how interesting.” The strong ones manage to pull themselves onto the train while the weak ones fall to the wayside leaving a line of very confused bodies lying on the ground behind the quickly accelerating tram. Sorry guys, you’re either too slow or not strong enough to be a passenger on the NASCAR tram. I can almost hear the Dixieland horn of the General Lee blowing in the background.

A couple more stops went exactly the same way; the doors would open, a few people would get on, the tram would pull away unexpectedly, a few people would get hit in the side of the face by the door, a couple people would get trampled, then the doors would remain open for a good long time before finally closing as the tram pulled into the next stop. By the time I had to get off I was ready. As soon as the doors opened I took a flying leap off the top step, I’m sure generating some confused looks from the would-be passengers as I sailed over their heads. Well, you had better not look at me too long guys because your tram is already pulling away.

Share on Facebook